I was talking to a business owner recently who said something I hear quite a lot.
“I’m busy all the time, but I don’t seem to be moving anything important forward.”
On the surface, this didn’t compute, the business was doing well, they had great people around them, clients were actively saying they’re happy, there weren’t any burning issues. But they felt stuck.
They were all working hard (sometimes, too hard). So, we started to explore. The first thing we looked at was a typical week (what it ‘actually’ involved) and we found a pattern.
- A question from a team member
- A quick approval request
- A decision somebody wanted them to sense check
- A client issue
- A project update
- Another question
Nothing dramatic or unreasonable, but a steady stream of people looking for answers whilst the focus of the owner’s day slipped further down the list. It’s something I come across often with business owners and leaders, it’s not a team capability issue and it’s not the fault of the leader, it usually just happens over time, unconsciously.
It makes sense in the early days of running a business or setting up a new team for everything to come through the founder. You’re the person with the experience, you know the processes and the clients, you understand the history and you can make decisions quickly. People learn that if they come to you, they’ll get an answer. Only, businesses grow and teams grow. And this habit or pattern isn’t sustainable. The leader becomes the default problem solver, the one that makes the final decision and the overall safety net. I know from coaching sessions, leaders don’t set out to create this dynamic. My clients tell me they want the opposite. They want ownership and autonomy within the team, and they want people to feel confident and capable.
One of the questions I ask in this situation is:
“When people leave a conversation with you, are they clearer in their own thinking, or simply carrying your answer?”
Yes, I know it’s an uncomfortable question, but it helps us to have the conversation that matters. There’s a massive difference between giving support and thinking for them. A framework I’ve stumbled across and find helps in these situations is the 1:3:1 method by entrepreneur Dan Martell. It’s really simple and used regularly can encourage ownership, creativity and self-management. Here’s the outline:
Ask your team to come to you with:
- One problem
- Three possible solutions
- One recommendation
So instead of arriving with, “What should I do?”, your team arrive saying, “Here’s what I’ve considered and here’s what I think.” They’ve weighed up the options and formed an opinion of their own. You’re already starting to create the space for confidence to bloom.
Other things that happen…the quality of the conversation’s you have changes almost immediately, your team start to trust their own judgements and over time, come to you less and less. It’s shaping behaviours in the best possible way.
Now, there’s a caveat and two more things I always make sure are present in a coaching session about this topic.
- There will still be occasions when people will genuinely need help, this isn’t about completely stepping back and watching the struggle.
- How you respond to the ‘three possible solutions and one recommendation’ matters a lot. It can take courage to break a pattern that’s been present for years, and the language you use at the start can shape people’s willingness to try (but that’s for a whole other article).
So, if any of this feels familiar to you, try it out and notice what’s different this week.
You might be surprised by the quality of thinking already there.